Wisdom Wednesday – You are brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Your playing small does not serve the world, there is nothing enlightening about shrinking. Be true to yourself, if you live a life trying to please others you’ll never be happy.
Jessa Morena
Question of The WeekWhat small thing could you do to make someone’s day better?
To all the mothers of the world, here’s a letter from the children of the world.
To all the mothers of the world
To the mothers who carried us in their belly for 9 months,
Sorry for the weight gain. You wanted me to be big and strong right? The late night cravings and early morning sickness, yeah I’ll take credit for that. Mom you sheltered me, took care of me and feed me. You loved me without knowing what kind of person I was, without seeing my face, you didn’t even know what kind of ice cream I liked, and yet you still loved me. Mom I felt that love. I felt it in my bones, I felt it in my soul. When I came out I recognized your voice first. Mom you’ve been there since the beginning, I can’t say that for anyone else.
Mom I remember those nights where you would you would rub your belly telling me how much you loved me, you read me stories and though you may not know, I heard your words. That MUST be the reason I love princess stories so much. Sorry you had trouble sleeping while you were carrying me, but if it counts for anything I never felt so safe. Mom I know you’ll always protect and love me forever and do you want to know why? If I can put you through 9 months of pure torture and I come out and you still love me!! Mom that’s love. Mom that’s true love. The first love I’ll ever know, and I have you to thank for that.
To all the mothers who gave their children up for adoption.
You chose not to keep me,
so you gave me away.
What am I supposed to think
of who I am today?
I am a living example
of what this world’s come to,
when wants and needs are more important
than what God has given you.
So, take a long look into the mirror
into the eyes … that lead to your heart,
and know that I don’t hate you
for you gave me a brand new start.
I have a Mom and Dad who love me
just as I am today.
They gave me their last name,
and they taught me how to pray.
So please know that … I love you,
… and I always will.
Because your choice for me was LIFE,
I know you love me … still.
Vickie Borgfeld Cross, Yorktown
To all the unconventional mothers,
Dads, Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas, grandpa’s, Brothers, Sisters, Nanny’s You are apart of this holiday too. You took care of me because you had to and because you wanted to. We might not be the ‘picture perfect’ family but we are a family. When I look back at my life I remember you. I remember the tap dance classes, the baseball games, the nights I was sick and you were by my bedside giving me the poison they call cough syrup. You were always there and you never left. I know it probably wasn’t what you expected but neither did I.
Sometimes I know it was uncomfortable, to have ‘The Talk‘ with me, when mother’s day rolled around we both didn’t know what to do. It was only until later that we created our own traditions, we created our own memories. When I like of my mom I think of you. You don’t have to give birth to be a mom, to be a mom there is so much more. It’s what you do for me that I’ll always remember. It’s the unconditional love that I’ll always remember.
Sure blood is thicker than water, but actions speak louder than words.
To all the mothers who lost their babies.
I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I’m watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.
I’ve seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.
She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I’ve whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me
We’ll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.
~Authour Unknown
To all the mothers who are not with us anymore,
She is Gone
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins
In this world there are many things that are covered by glitz and glam. When you strip all the superficial away what’s left? Simple things. When did the simple things become too simple? When did it become not enough?
Simple things that make me happy:
Taking a walk
Feeling the wind on my face
Laying down in the grass
Standing out on a balcony in Chicago
Being with the person I love
Kissing him
Looking into his eyes
Smiling
Having a good laugh
Touching water
Sweating at least once a day (from working out)
Breathing in and out, slowly once a day
Putting my favorite song on repeat
Writing
Thinking about someone and smile
These are to name a few, remember that the simple things make us happy for a reason. They keep us grounded in this fast-paced world. Stay grounded.
What are some simple things that make you happy?
People are persistent in seeking approval. Whether it’s about who they are, a decision their making, their behavior, or a situation, people feel that they can’t be unbiased about things. That they couldn’t have viewed the situation clearly because they might be influenced by personal feelings – which of course you’re going to be to a certain degree – so they seek answers from others. You seeking validation from others seems like a good idea, however, by doing this you are creating this blind and dangerous mentality that others are ‘correct’.
One of the biggest contributors to our self-worth is validation. It is very emotionally reassuring to experience the approval of others. Reason for this is because they can offer this external validation for our positive feelings about ourselves. Sometimes it can be a good thing, it becomes an emotional high but if we don’t get our daily dose we suffer. Don’t rely on this too much. Our primary source of approval needs to be internal and not external.
‘If we remain dependent on external factors to feel approval, then we will always be emotionally vulnerable. Our self-esteem would be in the hands of things that we have very little control over. This kind of situation fosters a needy, helpless, dependent mindset.
Our primary source of approval needs to be internal and not external. We need to approve of ourselves to feel true inner peace and security. That internal sense of approval needs to develop until it is no longer vulnerable to the shifting tide of external validation. Self-esteem comes from how we feel about ourselves!’
You’ve got to stop believing that everyone else is right, that they have some greater knowledge that you apparently missed out on! That they have this step-by-step book on how your life will play out. In all honesty no one knows you better than you know yourself. You need to start trusting yourself and your opinions. Now I’m not saying that you should stop asking people for advice – that would be ludicrous – and because you probably wouldn’t do it. What I’m saying is take your advice first. Listen to your heart. You don’t know who has your best interest at heart. You are in need of a change, and that change is for you to have a healthy belief in yourself.
It’s easy to confide in a friend, partner, or shrink about problems that you’re going through. It makes us feel good sharing our situations because you feel that the weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There is a fault here – just like in any other plan – you’re assigning value to their advice because you love them. They could have what you want (career, business, relationship etc.) so it would be easy for you to confirm their opinion. It’s one thing if you ask someone who you trust (and they’ve earned it) to give you their fair opinion and they follow through with it to your internal needs. However only YOU know what’s right for you.
Now let me ask you.. Do you feel worthy of your opinions? Do you feel that you can only go further in life if the advice is from someone else?
There is a common thread that we all share. That is a sense of worthiness. People feel that they are not meant to live the life that they were created. Some feel that the only way to get where they want is by following/taking opinion of others. This is what you can get from another person: an opinion on a movie, a hug, a ride home, and even their opinion on what songs you might like.. but not an opinion on your life!
You deserve to be happy and the first step towards that is by trusting yourself and your opinions. People unintentionally block their own happiness. There is a difference between thinking you deserve to be happy, and feeling worthy of being happy. If you don’t feel that you are good enough to accept the things coming your way then you will never reach that true happiness. Right now you might not be able to see it, to accept it, or to even believe it; you are here for a reason. You being alive is all the validation that you need. You being here is your birth right to be happy. Everybody is here for a reason. I hold that saying close to my heart. Hold it close to yours and recognize you’re meant to do great things.
Below is a video that I enjoyed about ‘Validation’ Enjoy and comment below!
Lately I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes in my personal life. At first, discussing them to my friends, I kept calling them endings, but afterwards I began to feel as if it was a process of renewal. There is an old Chinese saying “If the old doesn’t go, the new cannot come.’ I’ve begun to view these difficult times as changes instead of endings. I have a new thought process of moving forward.
I know I am not the only one going through tough times, I have many friends and family members who are going through changes of their own. This post is really for them, I want to share with them some tools I’ve found to become useful through the difficult times. I’m the type of person who over thinks everything so I’m still learning how to pull myself together.
It’s easy to complain. If you spend 80% on what’s right and only 20% on what’s wrong, what do you think is going to happen? You need to make it so it’s even easier to answer the question ‘So what are you going to do about it?’
No matter how badly you think your life may be going, or how messed up you think you are, there is at least one thing you’re doing right in your life. You’re reading this now aren’t you? All it takes is one step.
If you find yourself stuck in a rut, think about what you’re doing. Have you been doing the same things over and over? Challenge yourself to do something different. That little shift already creates a different result, and little shifts build on to create bigger shifts in time.
I’ve learned this from previous experience, the past does not create the future. The future CAN be better! Unless you make it worse. You need to realize that the past is unchangeable. Focus on the present, or else you’ll miss out on the chance to make it better. Leave the past where it belongs. Create hope for the future!
What do you want? The future is a blank canvas! If you can see it, hear it, feel it, you can do it!
Let’s face it, there will always be problems. Some big and some small. You may think that you’re always sad, or down only because you haven’t noticed when you haven’t been. It’s physically impossible to be depressed all the time.
Most people (me included) believe that it’s essential to know the roots of the problem before they can change. ’If only I knew why I’m so.. I’d be able to change myself’. Unfortunately this isn’t true. As I mentioned before I am a thinker – this gets me in more trouble that I’d like to believe. Understanding does not always create change! There will always be new elements in the existing situation. Nothing is textbook.
Danielle LaPorte
wear your white shirts. get them pressed.
use your good dishes — everyday.
shave on weekends.
do not wait for special occasions.
do not tuck your best away in the drawers, in the back of the closet, in your heart.
don’t wait for holidays or invitations.
declare that your today is the special occasion.
call instead of emailing. (it feels so good to connect.)
go for coffee.
quit.
renounce your glory days. you’ve told all of those stories more than twice.
focus forward.
wear perfume for yourself. toss your only-wear-around-the-house clothes and let your good clothes graduate to around-the-house status.
intend to feel good all of the time.
write your book.
launch.
make great sex a priority. (this alone will make you more creative and free. on your death bed, you will think about all the great sex you had this lifetime.)
burn your to-do list.
write poetry. One a day.
make a point to be as encouraging as possible, as much as possible, to everyone possible.
don’t look back.
if you feel like you’re always failing, consider that this is part of being an artist. let it be a divine inclination. keep going.
enter.
leave.
eat real food.
often refuse to be in the presence of people who make you feel repressed, anxious, or pull your frequency down.
do not entertain haters.
send light to the haters.
give it away. you probably don’t need it and someone else does.
turn off the tv.
let it be easy.
burn candles. during the day.
fall in love. with yourself. with the person you’re with. with the persons in your orbit.
because no one is perfect, but you can let the love be perfect for the both of you.
because everyone — everyone — is a doorway to God.
because you can get there from here.
because life is short.
