Jessica Moreno
It is important if you are thinking of having sex, (or being any type of intimate) you have to ask yourself, is this right for you? Are you ready? My opinion is: If you happened to come across my page, you must have type this question into Google and was looking for an article to confirm what you already know… That you are NOT ready.
Since you are here, you might as well continue reading due to the count I have a lovely and very informative blog :]
First off, what is sex? Sex is a very personal, intimate act that had a meaning, a true meaning a long time ago. Before it meant if you loved someone and if you wanted to start a family with them. Nowadays sex has lost its meaning and could be considered the new handshake. It saddens me, on a personal level, when you do any type of sexual action with someone you give up a bit of yourself. I know just by reading these words you might not understand. I will try my best to explain what I mean by that.
I commend anyone, boy or girl, who did want to ask this question. If you already had sex there’s no shame in it. You might have thought you were ready, you probably didn’t think it would be a big deal. I will not judge you. That is not what my site is about, I am here to answer any questions my readers have, and I will be as honest as I possibly can.
With every generation I fear for it, I see everything that once had a true meaning, lose it. You’re supposed to have sex with someone you care about, someone you love. Not “OMG he’s so amazing! I can’t live without him! He told me he loved me! I’m an adult” type love. Believe me if you have said any of these things to your friends then you are not ready.
Believe it or not I was 20 when I had my first time, I was so much older than when my friends experienced their first time. Let me tell you something that people are not willing to tell you. It’s scary. It’s nerve wrecking. You feel uncomfortable most of the time, you don’t know what to do. You have so many thoughts going through your head saying “This isn’t right, I want to stop but it’s too late to turn back.” It’s never to late to turn back. You could read any blog, any website, hear all the stories in the world about everyone’s first time. Yours can be different.
Am I Doing This Because I Want To?
I’ve heard countless stories where my friends, guys and girls always tell me “I wish I waited longer” ”I wish I didn’t have sex with the first guy that told me he liked me” ”I wish I was smarter about my choices when I was younger” I’m not here to scare you but I am here to give you the facts.
Are you thinking about having sex because someone else wants you to? Maybe you’re not ready, but your partner is very pushy about it. Have all of your friends “done it” and say it’s cool?
It’s normal to feel peer-pressure about sex, I was in my 20′s when I had sex for the first time. I knew people who said did it when they were 14-18. They would “brag” about it. Reason why I am putting brag in quotations is because it’s not something to brag about, and if you are bragging about it, it’s because you’re over-compensating it. It was most likely a horrible experience, something you wish you could go back and redo and you’re trying to convince yourself more than convince others.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- You would if you loved me!
- But you did it before with someone else!
- Everyone else is doing it!
- You were willing before, what changed?
- Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?
- You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?
- I’ll be gentle, and it’ll b e really great, I promise!”
- I’ll only put it in for a second….”
If you recognize any of these phrases, then you should think carefully! These are not the reasons why you should have sex. A partner who says this is just trying to put pressure on you. Be careful though, you can receive pressure from more sources than one. The media, books, movies even your friends…
- You mean you’ve never done it before!?!?
- I lost it when I was twelve…”
- Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times…”
- You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand…”
- No one will be interested in you if they hear you’re a prude.”
- It’s amazing – you don’t know what you’re missing.”
“Many of your friends will only be saying this sort of thing because they think everyone will laugh at them if they admit they’ve never really done anything! Besides, being sexually experienced at a young age doesn’t necessarily make someone mature.” avert.org
Are You Ready For The Consequences of Sex?
With sex comes more than the “fun” that you think you’ll have. There are many risks by having sex with someone, while most kids (and people) even my age, find themselves invincible. They feel like nothing can touch them. That’s not the case with sex, once you have sex with someone, you are putting your health, life, body, and future in jeopardy. You could:
You risk getting infected. Unless both you AND your partner are virgins, when you have sex with that person you’re having sex with everyone they had sex with, and everyone THAT person had sex with.
Herpes, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia.. These are just a few of the diseases that you are at risk at being exposed to. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself “It will never happen to me. I’ll use condoms” Even with condoms, you still are exposing yourself to these diseases/infections. Some of these can be cured (STI) while others can’t (STD) You don’t need the rest of your life to be determined just by one mistake you made when you were 13 or 14 years old.
More Information about the risks and safety tips from STI’s and STD’s: Here
Getting Pregnant.
You put yourself at risk of getting pregnant. My friend just had sex one time, just one time, but that’s all it took. Just that one time. She got pregnant, ended up having a baby at the age of 15, didn’t finish high school. Now she is 23, trying to go to school and get a good job but she’s having a lot of trouble being a single mom. Of course this is not how all situations will be, but it is a serious situation. This is a possible outcome. It may not seem like it now, despite all the “Teen Moms” and “Sixteen and Pregnant” Shows, being pregnant is not a glamorous thing. YOU WILL NOT BE ON TV!
I hate those shows because I believe it encourages young girls to have sex. With that being said it might seem easy on a tv show, but in life there are things you might not have even considered.
- You won’t be able to go out with you friends
- You might lose your boyfriend
- You’ll have to become an adult faster
- Morning feedings, diaper changes
- Money
- Putting your dreams on hold
You can’t think about yourself anymore. With having a baby yes you will get bigger, you might lose your boyfriend, the lucky ones have the support of their family (believe it or not some don’t) You can’t think about yourself anymore. You have a baby, you have to feed them, cloth them, bath them, hold them and love them.
Babies will cry, make a mess, spit up, smell etc.. Some days will seem easier than others, and some days will seem intolerable. However I feel that it is my job to tell you how to be safe if you do consider to have sex. There are ways to prevent yourself from getting pregnant and getting infections. However these methods are not 100%. The only thing that is 100% is being abstinence. I know for most that is not even an option so I won’t enforce it. Here are some methods that are not a sure thing but it is something:
- Condoms
- Birth Control
- ImplantsI found a website that has all the information:
- Is birth control safe?
- Which methods are most effective?
- Most discrete methods?
- How much does it cost?
All these questions and more are answered on this link.
Final Thoughts
I believe that if you were searching for a direct answer to this question you will not find it. The only person that would know if you’re ready for sex is you. I can give you all the information in the world but only you will be able to decide if you are ready or not. I believe that when people type a question like this into Google search it is because they are looking for reassurance to something they already knew, deep down inside. You were probably looking for reasons tell your partner no, that you’re just not ready. THAT’S JUST IT! Just tell them you’re not ready, if they end up leaving you because you said that then they weren’t for you. Trust me, look out for yourself, care for yourself more than them. You have to live with yourself the rest of your life.
You could read this and still have sex, that’s your personal choice. Remember there is no right or wrong answer to this question. There are feelings though, take both you and your partners emotions into consideration. This is a big step, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. If you are still confused talk to someone, your doctor, school nurse, older family member, even your parents (no matter how uncomfortable) These are the people you need to talk to.
They know more than you think and they love and care about you, so they will give you a straight and honest answer. When considering a decision like this your friends do not know best. Seek an adult for information. I hope my article was of some assistant also.
If you liked my article or found it helpful, leave a comment. I would love to hear how I could improve my writing to help others.
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